Welcome to NYSDADS.COM

Hi, and welcome to nysdads.com!

Its a no brainer that courts favor mothers, because they have good reason to. Yes, I just said that… so stop worrying about it, because it wont get you anywhere! This site was created for the large and growing number of single fathers to aid them in various ways of single or separated fatherhood as well as how to cope with the ups downs and in between of being a single and or separated father. It can be scary and your not alone. There are steps you can take starting today to “win” (what a fun word) your child or children back into your life.

Don’t ever forget that you have rights as a single father and above all else that you have a child or children and they need to see the VERY BEST from you at all times. No matter how difficult things may seem and probably are, holding composure for your family is important to the eyes of your child or children.

While you spend time on this site and read the articles and guides here, understand they were all written with the assumption that one, you are not only a kind and loving father but you want to be a constant, ongoing and positive role in your kids life. And number two, no matter what the issue or problem may be, you are willing to go above and beyond to get along with….. Your Ex, the mother of your child to do so. Yes I said it, are you willing to do so? Only with this mentality will anything written on this site help you. This can be a hard thing to swallow, hell I have a hard time digesting it, but the bottom line is that its what must be done for the love you bear for your family.

I currently have faith in the family court system, but it saddens me that to frequently a GOOD FATHER has to build a case and “earn” or “win” his right to be with his child. It just seems so… unjust. Once again that is where I would love to try and help.

I already mentioned that the courts favor mom and with valid reasons. And the sooner you understand this and put it behind you, the sooner you can progress.

For the judge to ever agree to shared parenting he has to be convinced the relationship between you and your ex is a solid one. For you to get FULL custody, you have have to prove your ex, the mother of your child, to be unfit. Maybe this might be the only option for some fathers but keep in mind doing this will only negatively affect your kid for the rest of his life in one way or another so only ever let this be a final option, and only if its absolutely necessary.

If the judge doesn’t believe your argument to be 100% sincere, truthful and so severe she can never be mended or fixed, hes going to favor the mother for several practical factors. The biggest practical factor being the natural bond between the mother and the child as the child grows inside her for 9 months as well as the 8 months the child is attached to her breast. Its a form of maternity and eternal bond in many cases that we as men will never understand. Get over it.

While fathers have as much a fighting chance of getting custody as mothers do in any legal presence and the same equal legal rights, we as loving fathers need to understand, accept and acknowledge that there are valid reasons for courts to favor the mothers over the fathers. Worrying about this and its drawbacks will only drive you into a early grave. Fighting with your ex (as this is how 90% of separations go) is not providing a stable and acceptable images to your kid which usually does rub off on them.

Listen to me… Take the high road, love your children and make peace with your ex. I promise you if you can start to do these things sincerely enough, you will be on pace to “winning” your children back, and the bottom line is this, you will be earning and deserving it as well. You have several options. I hope the resources here better your life and mine.

-David M. Becker